France is Bacon

I recently came across a tweet on how someone interpreted “Knowledge is Power – Francis Bacon” to be “Knowledge is Power – France is Bacon”. I almost choked on a glass of water when I read that. Strangely it reminded me how much I loved humor, in writing. And then I thought about all those times I used to blog.

A lot. Not tweet, insta, whatever you want to dress up your lazy ass writing.

Anyway, it is 2021 (we kicked out 2020!) and I thought I should start blogging. Since I cannot Eat, Pray, Love my way to any part of the world now, I made a trip to the nearest couch to channel my inner Mindy Kaling as I start writing this post.

Apart from the earth shattering prediction that 2021 is going to be so much better than the last year, I think I may have some really healthy, wise thoughts to brighten up your day here.

A lot of us are probably floating in negative space. Ya, no shit Einstein. 

Let me tell you something, if you have whipped up 3 gourmet dishes and your toddler only eats few bites of it, like its fucking tapas, you call it a WIN. She actually ate! Thats the kind of positive spin I need in my life. Except I don’t.

Instead I am crashing the hot pan in the sink and muttering “Why did I even try?” and redirecting my anger at my husband – “Did you hear me?”. Which clearly he hasn’t because I was muttering, remember? 

But we mothers, we got to stick together. You know, because we were the ones who were pregnant, who had bouts of nausea and contractions and…So it’s OK to offload some of that on our partners. Right. Right?

In all of this madness, I have now come to understand what existential crisis means. It means you are facing near constant frustration in everything you do and you are wondering “Is this what life has cracked up to be?”

Crisis apart, I am in that stage of pandemic where I directly pick out my clothes from the laundry basket. Folding laundry is out of my chore list. WIN! (I am positive spin-ing already, it works!)

I have also experienced some other miracles, thanks to pandemic, I am now in a deep flow state and have done SO MUCH breath work.

Like when my toddler throws a tantrum, I deep breathe. When the kitchen sink does not drain, I deep breathe. 

When MacBook throws a fit that my IP address is being used by some other device, I deep breathe. 

When my MacBook does a patch update right before an important meeting or presentation, I deep breathe. (Thank you Apple!).

At this rate, I am ready to publish my book, tentatively titled “100 ways to practice deep breathing, while casually going about your day”. I wish I could list these as achievements in that yearly performance review thats coming up soon. But I can only think of one MEGA accomplishment thats going in my review:

I WORE MY MASK.